A Gregorian Proposal

I believe that the day after the Super Bowl should be a national holiday. We could call it "Hangover Day." To make up for the lost productivity, we could get rid of a useless holiday like Columbus Day, which comes too soon after Labor Day to really enjoy, and pisses off a lot of Native Americans apparently as well. Something about smallpox. Or President's Day, because isn't every day the President's Day? The guy rules the frickin' free world, you'd think we could all just nod and respect the achievement. For that matter, let's just get rid of both of them and make Nov. 1 a holiday to recover from Halloween. The Dutch do that. It's under auspices of "All Saint's Day," but I'm onto them. And while we're at it, let's just push Veteran's Day and Flag day back to the last Tuesday and Wednesday in May. We'll get 5 days off to do something useful on Memorial Weekend. All in favor say "Aye."